


Crushed

by purajobot935



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Awkward Crush, Awkwardness, Crushes, First Love, Internal Conflict, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Secret Crush, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 11:17:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11356392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purajobot935/pseuds/purajobot935
Summary: He wasn’t sure how or when exactly he came to such a realization. It was like he just woke up one day and finally saw Jazz.





	Crushed

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published April 2008

He wasn’t sure how or when exactly he came to such a realization. It was like he just woke up one day and finally saw Jazz. Not that he hadn’t seen Jazz before. On the contrary, he saw Jazz every day and had been seeing him for the past 7 million years or so – not counting the 4 million spent in stasis. It was just that he’d never noticed it before.

Well, he could hardly be blamed for that. Back on Cybertron, things had been too hectic for anyone to notice anything besides the fact that they needed to stay alive. Crash-landing on Earth though had seemed to slow things down, as both sides decided to take a step back and not waste resources on needless fighting, since neither knew when they’d be going home again. He supposed that it was this sudden let-up in the fighting that finally allowed him to truly see all his faction mates.

It was just that none of the others made his spark flutter the way Jazz did.

It was ridiculous. Ever since he woke up with those strange feelings that day, Jazz only had to look at him and his systems would simply freeze up. Normally this would be a bad thing, but in this case it felt… good. Like his body actually LIKED the fact that Jazz was looking at him. His doors even twitched, for Primus sake! It was absurd.

Prowl gave himself a little shake as he looked himself over in the mirror. He had to get a grip. Jazz was a fellow officer and his best friend, so these feelings were highly illogical and needed getting rid of because he just could not function like this anymore. It was almost as if… No… no no no. Not even going to consider it.

He spun on his heel and headed out of his room, making for the lounge to get his energon ration before he went to his office to start his work. If he was lucky, perhaps he could make it to the sanctity of his office without seeing Jazz at all.

Fate however decided to spite Prowl, because as he neared the lounge, who should come striding over in the opposite direction but Jazz himself. Prowl stopped short and felt his fuel pump give a slight hitch. Jazz smiled – and oh did he have a dazzling smile. Prowl mentally slapped himself. 

“Mornin’ Prowl,” he said. “Have a good night?”

“Good morning, Jazz,” he replied, thankful that his voice remained steady. “Yes I did. Yourself?”

“Eh the usual. So whatcha got planned for today?”

“The usual.” Prowl smiled a bit, too, wondering why he felt so unusually cheerful this morning. Surely not because Jazz was the first mech he’d seen. “Reports to read, rosters to revise, duty to assign.”

“Wow, sounds like a barrel o’ laughs,” Jazz deadpanned. “Sure you wouldn’t like some help with those?” He looked over at the other black-and-white, earnestly.

Prowl’s processor scrambled to find any other answer besides ‘yes’. Having Jazz this close in proximity to him and looking like he could see right through him, he was finding it a little hard to come up with a decent explanation. “I don’t see why you’d want to. Haven't you previously mentioned you find my work boring?”

“Exactly, so I don’t know how you can stand t’do so much of it by y’self.”

“I don’t mind it. It helps me stay focused.” On things besides how nice you look in the mornings, his processor supplied unhelpfully. Thank Primus Autobots couldn’t blush. “It’s almost relaxing in a way.” What was he saying?!

“Uh… okay.” Jazz shrugged. “I just thought, y’know, if I helped you finish them, you’d join me for a drive around town or somethin’, but hey, if you’re fine with it then it’s cool.”

No, no it was not cool. He would have liked to take that drive. Not that he would ever admit it, but he did find Jazz’s company relaxing if not sometimes amusing, even before all these feelings had started. The damage had been done though and he wasn’t quite sure how to fix it without getting flustered and making a complete fool of himself.

“I should get some energon,” he said. “Work to do and all that.” The look on Jazz’s face made him feel like pig iron.

“Oh right, of course you should. For the good of the Autobot cause and all,” Jazz replied, stepping back a little to let Prowl enter first.

Prowl smiled his thanks and moved to go inside, trying not to make any physical contact with Jazz incase his body did something on instinct, while some part of his mind reasoned that a simple brush past could do no harm. This resulted in him just about tripping over his own feet, causing him to stumble and pitch forward.

A white forearm latched around his waist and broke his fall, and with the way his systems suddenly went into overdrive, he knew it was Jazz that was pressed up against him. Prowl willed himself to stay calm as he regained his footing and faced the other mech.

“Y’alright?” Jazz asked. “Heh, guess y’really do need that energon.”

“Yes, thank you. Must have slipped,” Prowl replied, with the last shreds of dignity he could muster.

“Probably used Sunstreaker’s wax to polish the floor,” Jazz quipped and steered the tactician inside.

Once they were a few steps inside, Prowl willed himself to break contact and was about to step away, when Jazz caught his elbow and stopped him, making him turn around at the same time. It was at this point Prowl realized that he was close enough to the saboteur to kiss him. For a moment neither moved.

“Ugh… where’s the energon,” Ironhide’s sleep-addled voice came from the doorway.

The moment broke and Jazz released him.

“Sure you’ll be okay, Prowl?”

“I’ll be fine, and thank you again, Jazz.”

“Hey, no problem. Glad t’help.”

Prowl got his energon and quickly retreated to the safety of his office, collapsing into his chair and running a hand over his face. It was then that he realised that his cooling fans had come on in an effort to cool his surprisingly heated systems. When had they gotten so overworked, he wondered. Surely it wasn’t because he’d been in Jazz’s arms for the briefest of moments.

He shook his head and picked up a datapad. Going down that particular road meant thinking of things he’d rather not consider, such as wondering what it would have been like to kiss Jazz. The saboteur had quite the kissable mouth, especially when he broke into that smile of his… and those hands had been quite gentle.

The tactician groaned and for a moment entertained the thought of banging his head on the surface of his desk. Anything to drive those fantasies out of his mind before they drove him crazy. He stared at the datapad and tried to focus on the symbols and figures on it and what they were telling him. Daydreaming about Jazz was not going to get his work done for him.

Perhaps though, if he finished his work early, he and Jazz could still take that drive…

=====

It was probably that motivation, along with the thought that maybe if they somehow ended up alone together again they wouldn’t be disturbed this time around, that allowed him to finish his work in record time. Maybe early morning meetings with Jazz weren’t so bad after all. 

He allowed himself a small smile as he walked down the hallways in search of the saboteur, but as time stretched on and he still hadn’t found him, that smile started to fade. Surely Jazz hadn’t already gone on that drive and left him, had he? Though, logically, he would be completely justified to do so. Prowl had turned him down after all, so Jazz had no reason to think that the tactician would be joining him.

Why did logic hurt so much at that moment?

Prowl rounded a corner and came face-to-face with Optimus Prime. The Autobot leader stopped just in time to avoid a head-on collision.

“Hello, Prowl,” he said.

Still remembering his sense of decorum through the haze clouding his processor, Prowl stopped short and saluted. “Sir. Good day, Prime.”

Prime chuckled. “Relax Prowl, are you alright?”

“Yes. Yes I’m fine, sir.” He sighed. “I was just wondering, have you seen Jazz anywhere?”

If the Autobot Commander suspected anything, his battle-mask hid it. “Yes, I sent him out to investigate a rumor about some Decepticon activity. Why? Do you require him for anything?”

His rather unhelpful processor supplied him with a list of reasons for why he would need Jazz, none of which were appropriate to bear repeating to his commanding officer. “No, sir. It can wait.”

“Alright then.” Prime turned to go. “Oh, and Prowl? Don’t worry so much. Jazz is a lot more resilient than we sometimes give him credit for. He’ll be fine.”

Prowl smiled a bit. “I know. Thank you, sir.” He saluted once more, then decided to head back to his office.

Though Prime’s words had made him feel a little better – at least Jazz hadn’t purposely gone and left him behind – in a way, they also made him feel a little worse. Jazz was more than capable of taking care of himself, he knew, but in his world of logic and probabilities, there was always the off-chance that something could go wrong.

Jazz was out there all alone. What if something happened to him and no one realized it till it was too late? What if he was lying bleeding his life out somewhere without any of them even knowing? What if he died without ever having the chance to know how Prowl felt about him. The very thought of it made him feel a little nauseous.

It also begged the question of why Jazz had never stopped by to tell him that he was heading out on a mission.

He dropped into his chair with a sigh, trying to block off all the mixed feelings his processor was sending him. What he felt for Jazz, it was illogical and would complicate things to no end just like what was happening now. Not to mention the chances of ruining a perfectly good friendship… but… at the same time, it all felt so good… so… right.

His thoughts wandered back to that moment in Jazz’s arms, when the saboteur had kept him from having a very ungraceful meeting with the floor. The feeling of Jazz’s body pressed up against his had nearly shorted out a few circuits simply because of the other’s proximity to him. Jazz had felt… nice. 

Prowl groaned. He didn’t need this. He didn’t need these feelings, he didn’t even know why he HAD these feelings in the first place. Unfortunately, his processor was more than happy to provide him with an answer, and it was quite the simple deduction – he was in love. Prowl almost scoffed at the thought the minute it entered his head. Almost. While it didn’t solve much, it did at least explain why he had this sudden and unyielding need to kiss the other mech.

Now if only Jazz could come back in one piece and unharmed…

=====

It must have been early evening when the door to Prowl’s office opened and Jazz walked in, a little singed around the edges and sporting a fresh weld patch on his shoulder, but otherwise whole. He almost let out a sigh of relief, but managed to hide it behind his professional demeanour. No matter what his processor was telling him, he refused to go to pieces over the fact that Jazz was safe and home.

“Did your mission go okay?” he asked without looking up.

Jazz tilted his head. “Yeah. There was a ‘Con. Took care of him.”

“So I see.”

“Oh this is nothin’. Y’should see what I did t’him.” The saboteur smiled a little. “Then again, it was only Skywarp.”

“You went out there without backup.”

“Technically, Optimus sent me out there just to have a look-see. Skywarp got a little trigger-happy.”

“You could have called for back-up.”

“Aw c’mon Prowl. Ain’t ya got faith in my abilities? I can handle one li’l Con by myself. Not like he was Megatron or anyone.”

“And what if he’d gotten lucky and managed to do more than just nick your shoulder?”

“I thought you didn’t believe in luck?” Jazz grinned.

“This is not a laughing matter, Jazz.” Prowl snapped. 

“Whoa, hey, chill out, man. Doesn’t matter now, does it? I made it back, and I’m fine. Why’re you gettin’ so worked up about this? Not like it’s the first time I’ve had to go out on my own.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jazz took a step forward. “Oh, so that’s what this is. You’re mad at me ‘cause I didn’t tell you I was goin’ out?” He sighed. “You were busy, man. I didn’t wanna disturb ya.”

Prowl frowned. “I’m not that cold-sparked that I value my work over the bots I care about.”

“I never said that.” Jazz crossed his arms. “Prowl, what’s eatin’ ya? There somethin’ ya wanna tell me?”

Yes, there was a lot he wanted to tell him, including the fact that…. “No. I’m fine.”

The saboteur sighed, sounding almost… disappointed. “Alright then. I’ll be in the lounge if ya need me. Don’t work too hard, Prowl.”

“Thank you, I wont.”

Shaking his head, Jazz left the office.

Once the door closed, Prowl let his head drop onto his desk with a thunk, his doors wilting ever so slightly. What the slag had he done that for? Jazz didn’t deserve that, he knew. It had been him trying to cover up his feelings because he didn’t know how to tell the other mech just yet about how he truly felt.

Then when was he going to tell him? Was he going to wait until the next mission Jazz went on alone? What if he didn’t return from that one? Primus, he’d been through this just a while ago hadn’t he? What was he afraid of? This was Jazz. He of all mechs would be able to understand. It was just that there were so many things that could go wrong.

There were things that could go right, too, that little voice in his head added. At least he should go apologize to Jazz for the way he’d behaved just now. After all, Jazz had come to see him after the mission, even if he couldn’t before. That had to count for something; he hadn’t totally forgotten about him.

Prowl out of his chair and out of his office before he even realized it. He walked briskly down the hall, his legs automatically steering him in the direction of the lounge so fast that he almost ran in through the door. He managed to stop short under the door-frame. 

Jazz, as expected, was there with his back to the door, talking to Sideswipe, probably about his mission and describing how he’d managed to defeat Skywarp. Sideswipe opened his mouth to respond, but he stopped mid-sentence on seeing Prowl walking towards them. Wondering why the red mech had halted so abruptly, Jazz turned.

“Prowl? Uh… you’re here,” he said intelligently.

The tactician reached him and stopped mere inches away. “Yes. About earlier…”

Jazz smiled. “S’alright. Forget it, man. You were worried, I get that. If anythin’, I’m sorry I worried ya.”

“There was one other thing though,” Prowl said.

“Oh yeah? What?”

“This…”

Prowl yanked him closer by the waist, leaned in and kissed him soundly. Jazz made a muffled sound of surprise as he suddenly found his mouth trapped between the other’s lips as metal pressed against metal. It only took a second for him to recover and then respond, wrapping his arms around the Prowl’s form.

Around them mechs gasped, and then stared or cried out in surprise as the pair continued to kiss somewhat passionately in the middle of the lounge. Sideswipe, the closest to them, noticed that both Prowl’s optics and Jazz’s visor had darkened to a shade of cobalt. Apparently, they’d both been holding this in for a while.

Prowl kissed Jazz softly, then pulled back a little looking both relieved and nervous. “I… that is… if that was out of line…” he tried.

Jazz smiled and shook his head. “I was hoping you’d do that. Different location maybe, but I’m glad you did all the same.”

The tactician seemed to notice his surroundings for the first time, and a look of mortification crossed his face. At the time, all he’d been able to see was Jazz and everything else had been a blur. Now that he’d gotten all of his worries and feelings off his chest, he finally noticed the lounge’s other occupants. Most of them were smiling – some of which were smug – others still looked a little in shock.

“Oh Primus,” he murmured. “I’m doomed. They’ll never take me seriously again. What was I thinking?”

The saboteur pulled him a little closer, smiling gently. “Don’t think. They’ll be fine. In the meantime, let ‘em stare. There’s been a serious lack of gossip these days and I intend t’give ‘em somethin’ t’talk about.”

“What do you mean… mmph!”

Prowl’s last few words were cut off as Jazz closed the distance and kissed him so sweetly that he almost felt his knees give way. His optics dimmed as he held the mech closer, feeling his spark pulse contently. Maybe noticing Jazz wasn’t such a bad thing after all – not if he kissed like this all the time.

Jazz murmured against his mouth. “So… your room or mine?” 

Prowl smirked. “Mine. It’s cleaner.”

 

~END.


End file.
